A marathon.

On Sunday, 40,000 people ran past my front door. I applauded the first 5,000 enthusiastically – until my hands, glowing in a rather alarming shade of red, suggested we might all benefit from a short break. Fair enough. Lunch it is.

After all, digestion is an endurance sport. Every bite travels roughly 8 meters through the body, and along the way, the system tries to extract anything of value before quietly disposing of the rest.

Naturally, such an effort requires support. Think of it like a marathon: people lining the route, cheering, handing out water, keeping things moving, cleaning up what others would rather not think about. We have the same kind of support system in digestion. They’re called enzymes.

Without them, eating would be like crossing Wadi Rum in a sandstorm. Technically possible. Spiritually questionable.

It already begins in the mouth. Enzymes in our saliva break down starch into sugar. One simply has to give them a chance. Anyone who swallows their food in a hurry instead of chewing properly is, essentially, starting the digestive race without warming up. An ambitious move.

The stomach, meanwhile, takes a more direct approach. Like a mafia cleaner, it subjects everything to an acid bath. Its henchmen are pepsins – not particularly subtle, but effective. They go to work on proteins with admirable determination.

From there, everything moves on into the small and large intestine. This is where the endurance phase truly begins. Anything the stomach didn’t quite manage may now develop… character.

One occasionally gets the impression that our marathon runner believes a protein shake to be a clever shortcut. The pylorus – the gatekeeper between stomach and intestine – sees no reason to intervene and opens the floodgates without much sentiment. The colon can deal with it.

We’ve seen this before. Around Easter, for instance, after a somewhat enthusiastic relationship with eggs. The result: protein bloating. In Viennese, there’s a word for it – Eierschaas. It’s not particularly elegant, but then again, neither is the situation.

Gut bacteria, in many ways, resemble cows. Their true talent lies in processing plant fibers. Give them fiber, and they go about their work with quiet dignity. Send them protein without it, and they express their dissatisfaction… rather vividly.

So perhaps don’t try to outsmart the body with a direct protein infusion, especially not in combination with lactose powder – unless you’re planning to make a personal contribution to the ozone situation.

Needless to say, fermentation is always welcome in the realm of pepsis – the ancient Greek word for digestion, and yes, the origin of the name Pepsi-Cola. It lightens the workload for both bacteria and enzymes.

Particularly when it comes to protein, foods like tempeh, miso, or pre-fermented meat (umami rubs, shoyu, unpasteurized miso) are the equivalent of a well-timed calf massage at kilometer 22. Not essential, but deeply appreciated.

In that spirit, we’re currently working on bringing tofu into this rather agreeable circle – in the form of stinky tofu. Fermented tofu. It smells quite something during production. Afterwards, considerably less so. And the taste is, reassuringly, excellent.

We’ll keep you posted.